Well, it’s crisis time again (to paraphrase the great Ray Charles). All over the papers and on the news the Russians are coming and we better have a meeting of diplomats.

OK. The people of Ukraine vote for a pro Russian leader. The US government along with its controllers, nostalgic for Cold War prosperity, will have nothing of it. So the Neo-Nazis are put in power to oppose the “Russian take over”.

Cry Me a River votes similarly, to ally with Russia, and it is characterized as a Russian take over by the lap-dog media dictated to by disappointed Cold War profiteers.

Our (not me but the US government. “our” only used as a communication tool) meddling in the affairs of foreign countries costs us in ways too far reaching for many to comprehend. 9-11. 

That’s right. An example, 9-11.

Instead of calling Obombya wimpy because his threats have no teeth. And hypocritical, “bigger nations cannot simply bully smaller ones,” let’s just call him a fake, partying on our dime and causing damage that makes drunk drivers look like the Good Samaritan.

“The enemy is in front of us.   The enemy is behind us.   The enemy is to the right and to the left.   They can’t get away this time.”   ~ General Douglas MacArthur

I mentioned in a previous column that my first car was a 1959 Volkswagen Beetle. My mom gave me rides to work at McDonalds until I saved enough to pay $500 for the seven year old car. It was light and easy to work on. It was so light I went for a month pushing it to start because I was too cheap to buy a battery. Sometimes a passerby would help push.

Hitler called the Bug “the people’s car.” In a fascist state the government tells industry what to do and Hitler thought everyone (except for Jews, homosexuals and others not of use to the Aryan ideal) had a right to a car. This sort of thinking prevails here today and seems widely accepted; but it isn’t limited to cars. Now our elected representatives from both parties agree we have a right to high speed internet. Sheesh.

This is not good news for the internet. When the commies took over East Germany, they started building the Trabant, the worst car ever made. The communists (although different from the Nazis only in targeted hate objects and an immensely more successful murder campaign) totally flubbed the people’s car idea. Although, maybe with everyone constantly trying to keep their cars running, it took their minds off the misery of the communist utopia.

My interest in VW was rekindled when the United Auto Workers (UAW) brought a vote for unionizing the Chattanooga, Tennessee Volkswagen plant. Strangely, Volkswagen officials wouldn’t allow any anti-union lobbying inside the plant but enabled the UAW to do so. Maybe it was to assure that the vote was decisive so the union wouldn’t whine about unfairness. It didn’t work. The union filed an objection with the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) on the grounds that outside influences caused the vote to go against them.

Last week the NLRB decided the anti-UAW employees will be allowed to defend their vote against the union at the NLRB hearings. What? The union had all the advantages and yet lost by a vote of 712 to 626. The advantage the union didn’t have is the truth. Unions destroy competition and competition is the guiding force for successful business.

The UAW office in Detroit may be the only open store front left there but that doesn’t prevent them from sticking their noses in the business of southerners who prefer to offer an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Now they are trying to unionize the Nissan plant in Canton, Mississippi.

About the time of the beginning of my interest in cars, Toyota and Datsun brought their Coronas and 510s to the U.S. Small, tinny and precisely built, they offered an alternative to the sloppy rolling living rooms offered by Detroit. A 510 could blow away a Chevelle on Topanga Canyon Road at a fraction of the cost. Personal preference dictated whether fun came in a straight line or curves. I like curves. I don’t know if the Datsun name rusted away to reveal Nissan or what but now it is called Nissan.

Nissan doesn’t allow union organizers to disrupt the operation of their plant like VW did. Good for them. It’s their property. Maybe Volkswagen anticipated a taxpayer bailout when the union drove them into insolvency. Many of the Nissan workers don’t welcome the union bullies either. A popular t-shirt around Canton says “If you want a union” on the front and “Move to Detroit” on the back.

The media like to guide public opinion into an us versus them argument, as if these issues were some type of sports contest. They aren’t. It is the difference between right and wrong rooted in an acceptance of force as a means to an end. Unions use force. Any worker, not happy with their job can walk away. Nissan owns no slaves, although I wouldn’t be surprised if labor organizers tried to paint it that way.

Nissan’s desire to turn a profit drives them to provide working conditions and wages to achieve that end by keeping employees on the job. A high turnover of well-trained employees doesn’t. Wages established by a mob subvert that concept and the evidence is in Detroit.

It’s time to put to rest the idea of employers and employees as an adversarial relationship. From international relations to labor relations to personal relationships: an illusional view as adversaries is always used to provide unearned gains for the few at the expense of the many.

The Wall Street Journal reports that if nine of the country’s 55,000 electric transmission substations were struck by saboteurs a coast to coast black out could last for months. I could get sarcastic again but let’s reaccess the meaning of defense. Would subverting foreign nations protect the grid or subject it to possible retaliation? Would more $130 million fighter jets protect the grid? Who should be responsible for the protection of the grid; the U.S. government, who inspired the 9/11 attacks and then failed to stop them. Or should the power companies be allowed and encouraged to protect their own property.

A months’ long blackout doesn’t just mean using candles and flashlights. It means spoiled food, no phones, no fuel… basically the end of civil society in America. All this spending on hardware and meddling in the affairs of other countries needs to stop and that capital returned to the private sector so it can defend itself. Any fool can see the federal government is incapable of doing it for us. 

Let’s all celebrate the end of hunger in America. It is quite a milestone after an eighty year struggle beginning with The New Deal.

The evidence of this great victory was in the news last week. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is proposing a change in federally mandated food labels that would emphasize calories, so we can limit our intake of them.

The President’s wife has taken a keen interest in the obesity epidemic, much to her credit. It is not just compassion for her fellow Americans that drives this interest. She must be concerned for the success of the Affordable Care Act as well. Healthy people are what make socialized medicine work.

As a patriotic American, I have some suggestions as to how we might nip unhealthy habits in the bud. I had a little negative feedback when I speculated Edward Snowden was a hero for exposing our lack of privacy at the hands of the federal government. With calories now a poison and the dire need for healthy premium investors, it may be time to launch an all-out health initiative, the Eternal Health Act (EHA).

Since this all started with the new food label, let’s get right to vitamin D, a new item on the label. There is no need for vitamin D intake for animals exposed to sunlight. The EHA will require every vehicle have a sunroof. We will have computer keyboards and other electronic devices monitored at a central database and in conjunction with health monitoring chips embedded in every American, they will cease operation if the citizen spends an unhealthy amount of time planted at them. Sunbathing will, of course, be balanced with darkness to limit the chance of skin cancer. This can be done with a remote controlled parasol if the citizen doesn’t respond to the warning shock. When this is up and running we can eliminate the vitamin D column on the food labels.

Ah, but wait. If we can eliminate that one column through modern science, why not the whole label? No need to ask questions. The science is settled. With the help of the NSA (National Security Agency) and private/ governmental alliances, it seems well within our blessed government’s power to regulate the dietary intake and exercise of every American.

When I first thought of this issue, I thought of having monitors watching us shop, maybe with scales and tape measures, fishing through our shopping carts. But I am always underestimating the speed of technological advances. I’m sure we can skip all that by fine tuning existing technology. The chips will detect all calories in and out. Even avid bike riders like my son, Hans, will be treated fairly as they work off those calories. An extra Snickers bar won’t trigger the shock alarm; in fact it could be rewarded with a pleasure pop. Bike riders and joggers could even be recruited to sneak around watching for black market junk food dealers, being so quiet and all.

Of course it will be necessary to monitor septic systems and plumbing to detect spikes in flow rate which could lead to the arrest of people trying to circumvent the EHA. The motion fitness team will also watch back alleys for traitors avoiding these systems.

Make no mistake. These EHA violators are traitors. An unfit populous spending society’s wealth on medicine instead of weapons sets us up for a takeover by Russians or Islamic extremists. We wouldn’t want to have to learn Russian or obey Sharia Law, would we?

Michelle Obama and Steve King could partner as mentor and enforcer in a bi-partisan force for good, on the road to a truly healthy and secure America.

note: Steve King is our “constitutional conservative” representative in Washington