49950745Is it barbarity we detest? Then why would we be allied with these people? The Saudis manipulate our representatives the same as Israel. When our government should only attend to governing the U.S. these alliances cost us all in ways that cannot be underestimated. So Americans who choose to keep their lives simple by ignoring things that seem to be out of their control are essentially leaving their doors unlocked in a neighborhood in the grips of a crime wave.



Watermelons at Thanksgiving

noma_cancrum_oris_case_plosI’m swinging through the trees in my snakeskin cowboy boots. My loin cloth falls away onto the bass player’s head. He continues to harmonize. The traffic gets so heavy, people leave their cars and walk in a trance melting into the pavement. It can’t be helped. It happens all over. Soon all people melt into the pavement and the earth is saved from destruction. But nobody knows about it.

Another letter on VW

This time to Car and Driver:

Dear Editor,

The rules broken in the VW diesel scandal are totally arbitrary and possibly politically motivated. But one thing demonstrated by Car and Driver in the December issue is that the perfume ad made the magazine stink way more than my sister’s Jetta. If her TDI were odoriferous, it would be useful where I read the magazine and I would prefer it to the December issue.

Love, Fritz

letter to the War Street Journal

Believe it or not, I forgot to post this. They didn’t print it:

Dear Editor,

Reports on the diesel car scandal at Volkswagen have added a new tool in the drawer as we evaluate news sources.

In “EU Demands VW Details,” (Business & Tech section, November 10) I read these words “… when it comes to carbon-dioxide, a powerful greenhouse gas that contributes to climate change.” This confirms my skepticism while reading other stories in The Journal of which I am less knowledgeable.

With a more holistic view of their paper, the editors would have put the factual “The Climate Agenda Behind the Bacon Scare” in the Business & Tech section and the questionable VW article in the Opinion section.

Love, Fritz

Grand coalition

What is it really about Russia and Putin? Is it something like my friend, James, who got sick drinking scotch as a kid and now can’t stand the stuff?

And what is it about ISIS that elicits so much love from so-called patriotic Americans? If you hate snakes, you love rats.

I know several people who would welcome a foreign invasion of the U.S. to depose Ohbombya. But isn’t that our responsibility? I mean, if we have an actual good president we would resent it if France sent their navel sea lions to sneak ashore and slit his throat, eh?

So you want an actual ally? Not some leach country that only does a one way alliance? Look at Russia.

We don’t like the beheadings. We don’t like the raping and pillaging, right. Russia is the ally that would hold up their end on the alliance.

Can’t our government do one thing right?

Chipotle Clinton

Hillary says we should enforce no-fly zones in Syria. ISIS has no airplanes. What gives?

Chipotle Mexican Grill serves “food with integrity.” E.coli 026 seems like a strange sort of integrity. But then, over the centuries natural, humanely raised food has done a lot to improve mankind by weeding out those of us to weak to improve the species.

I’m not sure of the connection but I could do without either arrogant snob.


I call out “Shmokers” in vain. She hasn’t helped me tie my boots for three days now.

When Dingus, our red healer who killed every cat she found, went blind about twenty years ago we got a mama cat and three kittens to help replace the worthless poison we had been setting out for mice. The poison mostly just turned the turds blue. Oh boy, blue turds. The kind of excitement produced by the NFL and Mr(s)Jenner.

Dingus bounced off stuff for about three years and was unable to kill a cat. Shmokers was the kitten who survived the rough farm life we use eugenically on our cat herd. I guess she was the matron of our whole herd in one way or another.

She had a kitten this year too late. It was so tame, not like the others. It was scheduled to go to  housecat utopia in Minniapolis but we eugenicists have to stand on principle and she perished due to cold and, probably distemper before the bus left.

Anyway, I’ve always hated cats, and dogs don’t like me because I don’t take walks. So now I mourn for Shmokers, who at least would walk up and say hello, but stay the hell out of my way. I don’t understand why it took so long, though. She’d never move until the tire touched her.

By the way, it was about a month ago that I saw Shmokers  carrying two mice back to the shed where the cats are fed, to feed her baby.